Changes in our lives can throw us off balance. Job changes or retrenchment, divorce, death of a loved one, move of home, serious personal injury.
These are facts of life that at some point or another, affect us all. How resilient are you? As a leader, when the going gets tough, do you crumple and stress out, take days off sick and resign yourself to bed? Or do you reframe your fears and shift your perspective of the challenge?
The question is not “Why does this happen to me?" but instead, “How can we develop our resilience as well as help those we love - our family, children, friends and colleagues - overcome personal challenges and thrive in a world that is constantly changing?”.
Seeing change as a threat leads to panic. Some people fall into depression due to inaction. On the flip side, successful people embrace change as an opportunity, and as a result witness some of the biggest growth leaps in their businesses and personal life. Get it right and the challenge can be a blessing in disguise, it can propel you to new career paths, new opportunities and new life adventures.
Here are my top tips for building resilience – P.R.E.P.A.R.E.
1. PREPARATION
Be aware of what is going on around you. If at work you are not performing to target, you will either need to do something to improve or change roles before you are asked to leave. Ignorance is not an option; preempt and take action, and have an A, B and C plan rather than be taken by surprise.
“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” Alexander Graham Bell.
2. REALISATION
Realise and accept the situation when it happens, don’t ignore and deny it as it’s not going to change for the better on its own. Instead, develop a strategy to move forward. Even better, action the A, B or C plan which you have already prepared in Step 1. The sooner you can move through the grief and anger stages, the quicker you can recover and take action. Flexibility is the key to success… the more options you have, the greater chance you have of achieving one of them. Don’t limit your choices.
The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.
- Nathaniel Branden
3. EMOTIONS
The US Army teaches the Navy SEAL (Special Forces) meditation and mindfulness exercises to help them create and maintain calmness instead of panic during combat. Remember, emotions are infectious to those closest to you. Do you want to affect others with your fears and make them panic, or do you want to support them to stay calm and make rational decisions?
The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. The calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. - James Allen
Photo by Patrick Schneider / Unsplash
4. POSITIVE MINDSET
You must be super-confident in your ability to survive and overcome the challenge! Remind yourself of how you previously overcame other tough situations. See yourself as a superhero and believe you can do it. Use positive music, and inspiring quotes and read self-development books to shift your beliefs so that your beliefs are empowering rather than limiting. You become what you think you are.
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
- Willie Nelson
5. ACTION
Take action and stay busy with things you care about. Don’t allow yourself to dwell and mope. Move towards your goal of something better. Take baby steps and congratulate yourself for each one you accomplish.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
- Lao Tzu
6. RALLY
Get helpful and positive support from your family and friends. They will boost your confidence and ability to stay the course. Avoid like the plague those who are pessimistic and try to drag you down with them.
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford
7. ENJOY
Hindsight would have shown you how previous challenges you went through brought wisdom, transformation and meaning. Likewise, focus on the teaching the change brings. Inject humour or fun and see the situation as a game - and play to win.
No matter when or where, always bring your 'A' game, because you never know when it will open doors for you.
- Simon Sinek
You don’t have to go through tough times alone. Consider working with a Life or Executive Coach to get enlightening perspectives as well as boost your resilience capabilities. You can also give your staff workshops on how to build their resilience as this will not only benefit their company but also their lives outside work.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
- Confucius